Who is Esiri?
The best way to sort out who is a faux feminist is to ask questions, not just once:
1) Why do you support gender equality (or why are you a feminist?)
2) How does your support for feminism play out in your personal life? If he starts talking about the education of girls, tell him that is nice and all but even Buhari supports the education of girls and he said his wife belongs in the other room.
3) Do you believe the man is head of his wife? Why? or Why not?
4) What do you think about splitting household chores?
If you get to question 4 and are both still talking to each other, congratulations! The two of you are staunch feminists.
In my view, no one can deceive you into thinking he is a feminist without you also deceiving yourself. Feminism is not for everyone, and it is not by force to claim it. I have more respect for people who will tell you straight up that they are not feminists, than those who pretend.
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